Aqua de Drool

Bottled at the natural source, Aqua de Drool is the very finest in Mongolian Monkey spittle. A delightfully slimy, yet crystalline substance, Aqua de Drool is a sure fire way to let the world know you mean business. Going now for $3000/ounce. 

Greetings

Truly, I am overjoyed to see you. Now carry on.

Braving the wilds of Eastern Washington

A few weeks back Mother and the Red Buffoon drug me off to the remote and uninhabited land of Eastern Washington. A veritable wasteland - I was forced to enjoy this cove view for three whole days.  

Only one measly waterfall on the property?! I'd prefer to be back in my gym, pumping my Mongolian muscles.

Charming, ladies. Really quite lovely. (Auntie Jill alongside Mother)

I was cruelly forced into a fitful slumber by the smooth rockings of this dangerous-looking net contraption. 

At least I made a new friend - Huntley! Together we suffered as our mothers forced us to dodge rattlesnakes and packs of coyotes.

Island Life

In need of yet another vacation, I ordered my minions to pack up and take me to Lopez Island!

The return of Lauren and Gabe! Again, her motherly ways are most impressive.

For my entertainment I ordered a rousing match of "random washed-up board balancing." Ben narrowly defeated Becca for the title.

The Red Buffoon attempted to show his manly side (trying to impress Mother no doubt) by killing a large salmon before my eyes. Make it a charging hippo Red, and perhaps I'll be impressed.

Barefoot island walking is apparently all the rave with the young folk these days.

I think I shall have my favorite impressionist painter Sachi turn this one into a masterpiece.

Ben, Lauren and the Red Buffoon inspect a ship being built in my honor. I will name her "The Sea Monkey" and all mariners will fear her!

Thank you for the giant leaf Uncle Gabe. I'll be sure to leave something large upon your chest when you least expect it...

We sailed far into the mighty Pacific and returned with billowing sails and nary a scratch.

A responsible monkey always wears his fashionable preserver.

Gabe gave us a rousing demonstration of how to perform the "wounded, belly-flopping swan." It was glorious.

My devil hat is such a camera magnet.

Our cozy campsite, nestled beneath my favored constellation - Ursa Monker (the Big Monkey).

My Apologies

I realize I've been neglecting my duties as a master blogger, but as you can see, my 100% devotion to growing some rosy cheeks is finally paying vast dividends. 

Dignitaries from the land of California!

A caravan of wondrous ladies from California paid their respects to me recently. Here I am greeting their lovely leader Auntie Susan with a traditional Mongolian Monkey blanket embrace. 

This sweet sorceress, known as Cousin Carrie, dulled my senses with her motherly ways. I hadn't a chance!

Putty...

Cousins galore! Natalie and I honored cousins Caylan and Tyler with copious amounts of drool! 

A visit with Grammy and Grampy

Dressed in my Sunday finest, I fearlessly led Grammy and Grampy aboard a vessel bound for the exotic Isle of Bainbridge.

I ordered a vast array of delectables laid before us in honor of  my guests from Montana. 

Laugh while you can Grammy. You shall be punished for your insolence!!

Ah, much better. (Grampy mixed up the bottles on the table, which greatly brightened my day.)

Behold - the genes of perfection!