The Red Buffoon turns 30

The Red Buffoon added another decade to his belt, and forced us all to march into the woods again in honor of the occasion. Luckily, I provided protection from bears, coyotes and yetis, yet again.

I will hang here, but I will not be happy about it.

At least some of my favorite people came to join in my suffering. (Cousin Natalie and I were forced to collect firewood and catch fresh trout while the adults lazed about on pine needles. Someone call CPS.)

Plotting my escape...

Hurrah! My old chum Ben came to provide me with some juggling entertainment. He's quite the master.

Six babes. Ohhhh I'm just awful, I know!

Steve and Skye honored the Buffoon with a homemade pineapple upside down cake - made at the campsite. My little Mongolian mind was blown - though no one offered me a piece. I shall have my revenge...

Candles? Really? Oh toughen up you city slickers. 

Aqua de Drool

Bottled at the natural source, Aqua de Drool is the very finest in Mongolian Monkey spittle. A delightfully slimy, yet crystalline substance, Aqua de Drool is a sure fire way to let the world know you mean business. Going now for $3000/ounce. 

Greetings

Truly, I am overjoyed to see you. Now carry on.

Braving the wilds of Eastern Washington

A few weeks back Mother and the Red Buffoon drug me off to the remote and uninhabited land of Eastern Washington. A veritable wasteland - I was forced to enjoy this cove view for three whole days.  

Only one measly waterfall on the property?! I'd prefer to be back in my gym, pumping my Mongolian muscles.

Charming, ladies. Really quite lovely. (Auntie Jill alongside Mother)

I was cruelly forced into a fitful slumber by the smooth rockings of this dangerous-looking net contraption. 

At least I made a new friend - Huntley! Together we suffered as our mothers forced us to dodge rattlesnakes and packs of coyotes.

Island Life

In need of yet another vacation, I ordered my minions to pack up and take me to Lopez Island!

The return of Lauren and Gabe! Again, her motherly ways are most impressive.

For my entertainment I ordered a rousing match of "random washed-up board balancing." Ben narrowly defeated Becca for the title.

The Red Buffoon attempted to show his manly side (trying to impress Mother no doubt) by killing a large salmon before my eyes. Make it a charging hippo Red, and perhaps I'll be impressed.

Barefoot island walking is apparently all the rave with the young folk these days.

I think I shall have my favorite impressionist painter Sachi turn this one into a masterpiece.

Ben, Lauren and the Red Buffoon inspect a ship being built in my honor. I will name her "The Sea Monkey" and all mariners will fear her!

Thank you for the giant leaf Uncle Gabe. I'll be sure to leave something large upon your chest when you least expect it...

We sailed far into the mighty Pacific and returned with billowing sails and nary a scratch.

A responsible monkey always wears his fashionable preserver.

Gabe gave us a rousing demonstration of how to perform the "wounded, belly-flopping swan." It was glorious.

My devil hat is such a camera magnet.

Our cozy campsite, nestled beneath my favored constellation - Ursa Monker (the Big Monkey).